No more sex if we leave EU, warns Osborne

LEAVING the EU will prevent Britons from ever having sex again, George Osborne has warned.

Tory MPs unable to find a woman who isn’t a dominatrix

TORY MPs say that dating a woman who is not a dominatrix is virtually impossible.

Nick Clegg publishes Nectar points statement

NICK Clegg has made public his Sainsbury's Nectar account in a bid for transparency over his finances.

Cameron not avoiding pathetic end to political career

DAVID Cameron has chosen to avoid an £80,000 tax bill instead of a shabby and humiliating end to his career.

Corbyn finally enjoying his job

JEREMY Corbyn is finally starting to like being Labour leader.

And also there’s the cash from the smack trade, says Cameron

THE prime minister has admitted making £80,000 from importing heroin but that it ended well before the 2010 election.

Cameron's son old enough for 'the tax chat'

DAVID Cameron’s son Arthur is grown-up enough for a fatherly chat about offshore holdings, it has emerged.

IDS to experiment with other human emotions

AFTER successfully crying over a sad thing, Iain Duncan Smith has announced plans to try other human emotions.