AN alleged conspiracy to unseat former chief whip Andrew Mitchell could go right to the heart of absolutely nothing, it has emerged.
GEORGE Osborne will today blame Britain's economic woes on a time-travelling politician from the year 2044.
NOVELTY mayor Boris Johnson has demanded a version of the European Union that came to him in a dream.
UKIP leader 'Nigel Farage' is a fictional parody of a raving idiot, it has emerged.
PRESIDENT Obama made a number of rash, personalised promises to voters, it has emerged.