Politics
He’s A Self-Made Billionaire And You’re A Sleazy Twat, Everyone Tells Mandelson
LORD Mandelson has been given a resounding answer to his question of who the fuck Starbucks boss Howard Schultz thinks he is.
Brown Demands New Bank To Destroy
GORDON Brown last night ordered his minions to fetch him a fresh bank.
Brown Suffering From Recession, Say Docs
PRIME minister Gordon Brown is displaying the classic symptoms of recession, doctors warned last night.
Tories Hire Vorderman To Help People Work Out If Firstplus Loan Was A Good Idea
CAROL Vorderman is to head a Conservative Party taskforce to help people work out if debt consolidation loans are really such a good idea after all.
What Is Your Fucking Problem? Britain Asks IMF
THE government has written to the International Monetary Fund to ask it what its fucking problem is.
I Warned Of Crisis Ten Years Ago Then Did Absolutely Nothing About It, Says Brown
GORDON Brown yesterday said he warned of the financial crisis 10 years ago but did nothing to stop it because, quite frankly, he wants us all dead.
Labour Politicians Do Nothing Wrong Again
THE Labour Party was embroiled in controversy last night after another four of its politicians did absolutely nothing wrong.
Brown To Host Vote-Buying Summit
GORDON Brown is today hosting a high-level summit to discuss radical new measures aimed at helping him keep his job.