Politics

Miliband: ‘I will deliver for drunk women’

ED Miliband has unveiled a raft of policies aimed at drunk women after high-level talks with a hen party.

Young non-voter simply cannot be arsed

A 21-YEAR-OLD student has refused to make any tiresome excuses for not voting.

I just want you to be happy, Sturgeon tells Miliband

ED Miliband and Nicola Sturgeon have once again failed to fully explore their emotional wants and needs.

UKIP funded by massive tits

RICHARD Desmond has boosted UKIP's election campaign with a £1m donation generated by breasts.

Clegg happy to carry on being The Gimp

NICK Clegg has confirmed his role in any future coalition will be The Gimp.

Cameron’s retro Thatcherism to include Golf cabriolets and Howard Jones

HARD-WORKING British families will be driving Golf Cabriolets and wearing white socks if the Conservatives are re-elected.

Green manifesto full of crazy stuff about oil not lasting forever

THE Green Party has been told to withdraw its manifesto after it claimed oil would eventually run out.

Cameron being hassled by Thatcher’s ghost

DAVID Cameron has told close friends he is being continually hassled by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher.