Politics
Cameron Enjoys Proper Holiday With Toffs
DAVID Cameron is back in Britain and feeling refreshed after enjoying his proper holiday with millionaire aristocrats.
Confused Prescott Compares Brown To Captain Birdseye
GORDON Brown received a boost yesterday after Labour's former deputy leader compared him to the frozen food giant Captain Birdseye.
Does Miliband Have What It Takes To Be Prime Minister For Six Weeks?
HE has thrown down a coded gauntlet to Gordon Brown, but does David Miliband really have what it takes to be prime minister for a few weeks towards the end of the year?
Labour MPs To Rally Behind Unbearable, Screeching Hag
LABOUR backbenchers are preparing to ditch Gordon Brown and place their electoral fortunes in the hands of the most God-awful cow.
Brown Pins Hopes On Outbreak Of Pig Shingles
ALLIES of Gordon Brown believe the prime minister will recover in the polls as soon as Britain is hit by a devastating animal disease.
Anal Warts Take Poll Lead Over Brown
GORDON Brown is facing an autumn challenge to his leadership from a particularly virulent case of anal warts.
Government To Consolidate All Its Debts Into One Low Monthly Payment
THE Treasury is to relax its rules on borrowing after seeing a television advert featuring Carol Vorderman.
Party Leaders Forced To Holiday In Britain
GORDON Brown and David Cameron both considered resigning from their posts after being forced to spend another summer holiday in Britain, it was claimed last night.