UKIP donor buys 300-foot floating dog

MILLIONAIRE Paul Sykes has followed up his pledge to fund UKIP with more outlandish and pointless spending.

George Osborne to announce cuts while covered in diamonds

GEORGE Osborne is to announce multi-billion pound service cuts with more than 16,000 white diamonds glued to his body.

Iain Duncan Smith to stack all those shelves himself

THE Work and Pensions Secretary is to spend the next 4,570 nights stacking shelves at Poundland.

Cameron's cabinet mostly Eastern Europeans

THE Prime Minister has admitted that 60% of his cabinet are immigrants from Eastern Europe.

Energy debate halted by blackout

ENERGY executives have escaped a grilling after a power cut at the Houses of Parliament.

Gumshoe Ed Davey vows to solve energy company mystery

ENERGY Secretary Ed Davey has turned detective to find out why bills for gas and electricity are rising so sharply.

Clegg to form one-man party

NICK Clegg is to break away from the Liberal Democrats to form a party called Nick.

New cabinet told to have more affairs

THE Prime Minister has instructed his new cabinet to initiate high-profile sex scandals.