GORDON Brown is hoping to regain the political initiative today by confirming that Britain's schools are so much worse than they used to be.
AS Gordon Brown fights for his political life the Daily Mash brings you a guide to the key players in the tumultuous battle for the heart and soul of the Labour party. No, we don't really give a shit either.
PRIME minister Gordon Brown has warned of large piles of severed heads if thousands of tiny Gurkhas are given the right to live in the UK.
TOMORROW'S Budget is expected to include a £1 billion programme to build thousands of houses that no-one can afford to buy.
CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling last night admitted he is not even trying any more after pledging £15bn worth of 'efficiency savings'.