Obama stole my bike, claims Boris

BORIS Johnson has escalated his war on Barack Obama by claiming the US President stole his bike.

Evil woodland folk demand return of Gove

IT IS time for changeling Michael Gove to return to his own kind, according to malevolent woodland sprites.

Voters ‘treated like children’ because they basically are, say experts

POLITICIANS treat voters like children because they act like children, experts have confirmed.

No more sex if we leave EU, warns Osborne

LEAVING the EU will prevent Britons from ever having sex again, George Osborne has warned.

Tory MPs unable to find a woman who isn’t a dominatrix

TORY MPs say that dating a woman who is not a dominatrix is virtually impossible.

Nick Clegg publishes Nectar points statement

NICK Clegg has made public his Sainsbury's Nectar account in a bid for transparency over his finances.

Cameron not avoiding pathetic end to political career

DAVID Cameron has chosen to avoid an £80,000 tax bill instead of a shabby and humiliating end to his career.

Corbyn finally enjoying his job

JEREMY Corbyn is finally starting to like being Labour leader.