Celebrities avoided giving cash to Tories

MILLIONAIRES who tried to avoid donating to the Conservative party are to be hit with punitive tax bills.

Cameron outside EU headquarters with protest signs

THE prime minister is marching around outside the European Parliament with hand-painted signs.

Lib Dem manifesto to be handwritten and left next to body

The Liberal Democrat party is writing a manifesto to be found on a coffee table beside its dangling corpse.

Blair unhinged, say lots of people who agreed with him at the time

TONY Blair is off his nut, according to people who thought the invasion of Iraq was a brilliant idea.

Be less British, says Cameron

THE prime minister has called on the people of Britain to be less reserved.

Daily Mail running UK

THE Daily Mail’s successful campaign to charge for plastic bags has confirmed that the tabloid newspaper is effectively running the country.

Chilcot Inquiry to cut Bush-Blair pillow talk

THE inquiry into the Iraq war will leave out parts of the transcript where Tony Blair and George W Bush were exchanging bedroom intimacies.

Cameron eats bacon roll with knife and fork

DAVID Cameron has used cutlery to slice a bacon roll into fine slivers.