NICK Clegg has pledged to raise the amount of semen coating the inside of Britain's tube socks by at least a fifth.
THE Conservative Party leadership are to shift the focus of their election campaign to securing the support of their own wives.
GORDON Brown is considering granting parole to the Yorkshire Ripper in the hope of another opinion poll boost.
VOTERS across Britain have expressed outrage at Lord Ashcroft's ability to avoid more tax than them.
OH hello there, today's story of schizoid behaviour involves the chancellor, Alistair Darling...
TORY leader Dave Cameron has revealed he enjoys watching 'erotic thrillers' on late night television after the wife has gone to bed.