The Mash guide to Ed Miliband’s ex-girlfriends

ED MILIBAND’S former girlfriends are the key issue swaying floating voters in the general election. But who are the ex-lovers of this goggle-eyed North London pervert?

Cameron realising Britain just really hated Gordon Brown

DAVID Cameron is finally realising he only became prime minister because Britain could not stand another second of Gordon Brown.

Man violently opposed to EU because of problems with women

A MAN is opposed to the European Union because it has turned women into feminists who will not go out with him.

Blair backing Miliband 'absolutely 14 per cent'

TONY Blair has given his unequivocal, 14 per cent backing to Ed Miliband.

Cameron caught on tape calling lamb a bigot

DAVID Cameron has apologised after being caught on tape describing a lamb he had just fed as 'bigoted'.

England strangely drawn to terrifying Scottish woman

VOTERS in England last night found themselves terrorised and seduced by a medium sized Scottish woman.

Cameron reminds everyone it’s an election campaign as he unveils massive lie

DAVID Cameron has urged Britain to get into the spirit of the general election instead of accusing him of lying.

Cameron and Miliband set out horrible, soul-destroying choice

DAVID Cameron and Ed Miliband have confirmed that one of them is going to be prime minister in a few weeks.