CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling has been forced to scrap his deficit reduction plan, admitting it was based entirely on sales of Billy Bragg's Between the Wars EP.
LABOUR was dealt a blow today as two senior party figures claimed Gordon Brown was still prime minister.
THE Conservatives have pledged to bring in a new law guaranteeing the right to kill poor people, foreigners and socialists.
GORDON Brown today pledged to cut Britain's deficit with a radical package of outright lies.
MOST of the people who went to Eton are much, much better educated than most of the people who went to school in Kirkcaldy, experts said last night.