NICK Clegg has refused to resign as Lib Dem leader but has admitted he is absolutely shit at it.
ALL schools will teach Michael Gove’s self-published novels about talking dragons and happy housewives.
THAT not-voting thing has worked out brilliantly, Britain has told Russell Brand.
NEWLY elected UKIP councillors across the country are ready to be wholly powerless to act on immigration and EU membership.
BRITAIN is wondering what impact UKIP’s electoral success could possibly have on the Conservative Party.
BRITISH voters have woken up this morning mortified about what they got up to at yesterday's elections.
RIGHT-WING people are making the term ‘socialist’ into a scathing insult, it has emerged.
GOOD morning and congratulations on making the best decision of your life - you’re going to vote UKIP.
- I only eat Wagon Wheels, says Miliband
- Government denies Buy A Massive House Free Money Woo Yeah! scheme is a stupid idea
- Every good thing that happens proves the Conservatives got it right
- Cameron gets injections for trip to Scotland
- Polls are just an indication of how people intend to vote, says Miliband