Politics

Britain breathes sigh of relief as quick-thinking May narrowly averts public sector pay disaster

THERESA May has saved Britain once again by acting decisively to rescue the country from the threatened catastrophe of firefighters being paid more.

We are ideologically opposed to fixing any problems, say Tories

THE Conservative party has confirmed it is opposed, on both a theoretical and practical level, to solving any of the problems faced by modern Britain.

Just f**k off out of it, May tells voters

THERESA May has told Britain’s electorate that her deal with the DUP is none of their f**king business.

Because I’m worth it, says May

THERESA May has confirmed that a supremely skilled politician like herself is easily worth £1 billion. 

Remainer celebrates one year of feeling morally superior

A REMAIN supporter has marked one year of feeling superior to the ignorant plebs who supported Brexit.

Crowd at Northamptonshire village fete breaks into chant of 'Andrea Leadsom'

A PASSIONATE crowd of about 15 people broke into chants of 'Oh, Andrea Leadsom' at a village fete in Northamptonshire yesterday.

Brexiter unable to find any street parties

A COMMITTED Brexiter has yet to find a street party celebrating Britain’s very own independence day.

May unable to do deal at Tesco checkout

THE prime minister has caused chaos at a Tesco checkout after being unable to do a deal where she handed over money for goods.