Politics

Salmond advised against micro-kilt

ALEX Salmond's advisors are split on how much thigh he should reveal for Tuesday's televised debate.

Cameron announces tough sanctions against London

THE prime minister is to impose sanctions on Russia's wealthiest city, London.

Miliband to show Obama his 2000AD collection

ED Miliband is planning to show Barack Obama his collection of 2000AD comics, many with free gifts still on the cover.

The Mash guide to the cabinet reshuffle

IT’S the reshuffle everyone’s talking about, if you ignore the overwhelming majority of conversations.

Gove to spend days using internet in library

MICHAEL Gove is to spend his days in his local library, using the internet in a furtive manner.

Celebrities avoided giving cash to Tories

MILLIONAIRES who tried to avoid donating to the Conservative party are to be hit with punitive tax bills.

Cameron outside EU headquarters with protest signs

THE prime minister is marching around outside the European Parliament with hand-painted signs.

Lib Dem manifesto to be handwritten and left next to body

The Liberal Democrat party is writing a manifesto to be found on a coffee table beside its dangling corpse.