Politics

You might be surprised to learn I don't like protesters, says May

THERESA May has admitted that she considers all protesters to be an undisciplined, filthy rabble who should be locked up.

Farage to take Trump to pub he pretends to drink in

NIGEL Farage has offered to take Donald Trump to the pub he pretends he drinks in whenever he wants to appeal to the common man.

May warns Trump not to underestimate her because she was head girl at school

THE prime minister has warned Donald Trump she may have the upper hand in negotiations because she was head girl of her grammar school.

Rising panic in Theresa May’s voice is Britain’s new favourite sound

THE note of rising dread in the prime minister’s voice as she tells the Commons a Brexit White Paper is ready is the UK’s new lullaby.

EU bill must be more than one word, say lawyers

LAWYERS have advised the government that a parliamentary bill consisting of a single word would be open to legal challenge.

Scotland and Wales can f**k off though, court rules

THE Supreme Court has confirmed that the UK’s regional parliaments and assemblies can fuck off.

Brexiting illegal

ANYONE caught Brexiting will go to prison, the Supreme Court has ruled.

Supreme Court rules Brexit to be a confusing load of bollocks that nobody understands

THE Supreme Court has ruled that Brexit is an incredibly confusing load of bollocks.