Be less British, says Cameron

THE prime minister has called on the people of Britain to be less reserved.

Daily Mail running UK

THE Daily Mail’s successful campaign to charge for plastic bags has confirmed that the tabloid newspaper is effectively running the country.

Chilcot Inquiry to cut Bush-Blair pillow talk

THE inquiry into the Iraq war will leave out parts of the transcript where Tony Blair and George W Bush were exchanging bedroom intimacies.

Cameron eats bacon roll with knife and fork

DAVID Cameron has used cutlery to slice a bacon roll into fine slivers.

Millions of Cable supporters gather in London

HUGE crowds demanding the resignation of Nick Clegg have gathered in London for demonstrations being called the 'English Spring'.

Racist nans now in charge

PARTY leaders are to meet with prejudiced nans after it emerged they were responsible for the UKIP landslide.

I am shit at this, admits Clegg

NICK Clegg has refused to resign as Lib Dem leader but has admitted he is absolutely shit at it.

Pupils to study Gove’s self-published novels

ALL schools will teach Michael Gove’s self-published novels about talking dragons and happy housewives.