A YEAR long review of the rules governing MPs’ expenses last night concluded that you are a complete twat.
WESTMINSTER was left reeling last night after a senior politician did something that did not involve being a total dick.
LABOUR will today unveil a detailed plan to alienate its last remaining pockets of support.
CREWE was prancing around quite the thing last night after getting itself a fancy new millionaire to represent it in parliament.
BRITAIN last night told the prime minister it was getting really quite late while making a big fuss of cleaning up the living room.
EVERYONE in Britain is to be made a member of the House of Lords after lending the Labour Party £2.7 billion.
LABOUR is to shift its focus from governing the country to selling books, the prime minister will announce today.
THE Scottish Labour leader Wendy Alexander was celebrating last night after going to the toilet all by herself.