Housing benefit withdrawn from anyone with under £25 million

THE Conservative party has unveiled new plans to cut housing benefit and income support for anyone with less than £25 million in capital holdings.

G20 leaders solve world's problems in all-night tequila binge

EVERY political issue in the entire world has been sorted out during a single night of drunkenness in a Mexican cantina.

Theresa May covered in tags

SIXTEEN electronic curfew tags have been discovered on Home Secretary Theresa May's leg.

Leveson triggers Cameron's camouflage reflex

DAVID Cameron survived a day's questioning at the Leveson inquiry by turning semi-invisible, it has emerged.

Clegg orders MPs to stop reacting to stimuli

NICK Clegg has instructed Liberal Democrat MPs to no longer give any indication of noticing anything.

Gove to teach six-year-olds about News International

EDUCATION Secretary Michael Gove's new National Curriculum is devoted to the business practices of News International.

Leaving child in pub 'right for Britain' says Cameron

DAVID Cameron has insisted that leaving his nine year-old daughter in a pub is the sort of tough decision that will rescue Britain from recession.

Leveson protestor had sacred dagger

THE man who confronted Tony Blair at the Leveson Inquiry yesterday was carrying the only weapon on earth that can kill the former PM, it has emerged.