Emily Thornberry shit at pub quiz

SHADOW foreign secretary Emily Thornberry is not an asset to her pub quiz team, it has been claimed.

We’re both shit but he’s a lunatic, says Owen Smith

LABOUR leadership candidate Owen Smith used last night’s BBC hustings to repeat that while both candidates are shit, Jeremy Corbyn is also deranged.

Any policy Michael Gove had anything to do with is f**king cancelled, says May

THERESA May has confirmed that Michael Gove’s prison reform, education policies and canteen pass have all been cancelled with extreme prejudice.

Keith Vaz not going to resign because Labour doesn’t really do that anymore

DISGRACED MP Keith Vaz has refused to resign because that is not how Labour works these days.

Clegg book stuns with revelation that Gove and Osborne are twats

NICK Clegg’s memoir has left the nation reeling with the revelation that Gove and Osborne are a pair of twats.

Rowling could be Labour prime minister tomorrow, confirm sane people

A LABOUR Party led by JK Rowling would win an election easily, according to voters who have maintained their grasp on reality.

Brexit brainstorm comes up with idea of staying in Europe

A BREXIT brainstorming session has come up with the idea of boosting the UK’s economy by remaining in the EU.

Corbyn incompetence just to wind up Owen Smith

WITH his re-election as Labour leader a certainty, Jeremy Corbyn has admitted he is only performing hopelessly to annoy rival Owen Smith.