Politics

Voters surrender to their inner bastard

MILLIONS of voters have admitted they are bastards who just want money.

All parties condemn postal voters

PARTY leaders have issued a joint statement calling postal voters a bunch of lazy bastards.

Sturgeon: England has no need to fear my reign of fire and blood

ON FRIDAY morning the SNP will become the third largest party in the UK. Oh yes.

UKIP merges with IKEA

NIGEL Farage and IKEA have formed a party called UKEA in a last-minute bid to create a majority government.

Miliband nasty bad man

ED Miliband is a bad, nasty thing so you no vote for him.

Cameron seen leaving Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown’s house

DAVID Cameron has been spotted leaving the home of popular ribald comic Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown in the early hours of the morning.

The Mash guide to the Miliband stumble

WHEN Ed Miliband stumbled on his dismount from the Question Time podium last night, he threw away Labour's election hopes.

Cameron offers to postpone General Election until 2020

The Prime Minister has offered to delay the general election for five years to give voters chance to make up their minds.