Politics

Osborne sleeps well despite being visited by three ghostly apparitions

GEORGE Osborne slept soundly last night, despite being visited by three ghosts warning him to repent.

Red box containing Thatcher's demon soul sold at auction

THE RED box which Margaret Thatcher's immortal demonic soul was tricked into entering has sold at auction for £242,500.

Cameron thinks ‘bruv’ means ‘a cup of tea’

THE prime minister thinks the word ‘bruv’ is a slang term for a hot drink.

Nigel Farage: I am popular and handsome

THE UKIP leader has confirmed he remains popular with white working-class voters and attractive to women.

Defence secretary spends entire debate doodling explosions

DEFENCE secretary Michael Fallon has spent the whole of today's Syria debate doodling bombs and explosions.

Labour MPs allowed to vote with consciences they abandoned long ago

LABOUR MPs instructed to vote with their consciences are struggling to remember where they left them.

Britain First are stupid, say bulldogs

ENGLISH bulldogs have confirmed that they think the views of Britain First are wrong.

Shapps forced to use own get-rich-quick schemes

FORMER minister Grant Shapps is being forced to earn a living with his own get-rich-quick schemes.