FORMER prime minister Tony Blair has discovered the centre ground on which he was planning to build his new institute is now a large crater.
PEOPLE are continuing to act like polls actually mean something, it has emerged.
NEW UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has pledged to be a forgettable minor player in the overall history of British politics.
TELLING children Jeremy Corbyn is real can cause serious trust issues when they eventually find out he doesn't exist, it has been claimed.
PHILIP Hammond's red briefcase has fallen open to reveal the manuscript of an erotic short story book he has been writing.
THE populations of Scotland and Wales have joined the UK legal system as enemies of the people for interfering in Brexit.
PEOPLE who disagree with Donald Trump and Nigel Farage are responsible for their success rather than the gullible idiots who vote for them, the media have decided.
A MAN is irritating his colleagues by being self-consciously indifferent to the presidential election.