Politics

1,000 love rats back Tories in letter to Take A Break

ONE thousand of the UK's leading love cheats have urged Britain to vote Tory in a letter to Take a Break.

Boris Johnson both Tory and Labour secret weapon

THE Conservatives and Labour have unveiled Boris Johnson as their secret weapon.

Cameron admits the United Kingdom is a terrible idea

THE union between England and Scotland is stupid and wrong, David Cameron has finally admitted.

Miliband storms ahead among people who can't vote

ED Miliband has consolidated his polling lead among people who are legally children.

The Scots are the worst bastards, Cameron tells xenophobes

DAVID Cameron has urged England’s xenophobes to focus on Scottish people.

Major says SNP like Edwina Currie but without the raw sexual energy

FORMER prime minister John Major has claimed the SNP is like Edwina Currie, but in a bad way.

Green Party achieves 100 per cent approval among tiresome Steiner parents

SELF-SATISFIED Steiner couples are totally behind the Green Party, it has emerged.

Sturgeon unveils manifesto for undiscovered planets

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.