Politics

'Thatcher's ghost told me to run' says every Tory leadership candidate

EVERY candidate for the Tory leadership has said they were visited by the ghost of Margaret Thatcher.

‘That Andrea Leadsom sounds like a right f**king nightmare’, says Britain

THAT Andrea Leadsom, who wants to be prime minister, sounds like a total pain in the arse, it has been agreed.

Everything man once found refreshing and different about Corbyn now idiotic and awful

A LABOUR supporter now regards everything that makes Jeremy Corbyn stand out from other politicians as unspeakably stupid.

Cameron spends relaxing day at home, laughing

DAVID Cameron only moved off his sofa yesterday to go to the fridge, he confirmed.

Voter wishes we could just once have woman leader who didn’t openly despise us

A VOTER who would in theory cheer on a female prime minister would prefer one who did not hate us.

Gove running on betrayal ticket

MICHAEL Gove is to stand as Tory leader on the basis that he will betray absolutely anyone without a second’s hesitation. 

Corbyn baffled by all these incompetency resignations

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted he does not understand why everyone is suddenly resigning just because they are hopelessly incompetent.

Stress turning Osborne into Rowan Atkinson

GEORGE Osborne is being turned into Rowan Atkinson by the stress of Brexit, it has been confirmed.