Politics

Referendum explicitly mentioned my knighthood, insists Farage

NIGEL Farage has claimed that the UK overwhelmingly voted for him to be given a knighthood in June last year, and losers should ‘get over it’.

Farage gatecrashes couple’s film and pizza night

FORMER UKIP leader Nigel Farage invited himself to a couple’s regular film night and ate a disproportionate amount of pizza.

Corbyn admits there are serious flaws with Britain's voters

JEREMY Corbyn had admitted that Labour’s Copeland loss means they can no longer ignore the serious flaws of Britain’s electorate.

‘Who needs MPs?’ says UKIP

UKIP have responded to the Stoke by-election defeat by saying they do not need MPs because everyone does what they want anyway.

Britain anxiously awaiting verdict of handful of people who can be arsed to vote

BRITAIN is waiting with bated breath for the verdict of the few people in Stoke and Copeland who can be arsed to vote, it has been confirmed.

Brexit optimism highest among people who love setting fire to things

PEOPLE who love starting fires and watching others run for their lives are the most upbeat about Brexit, it has emerged.

Blair to die for our sins

TONY Blair has opened his arms wide and announced his readiness to die for the sins of ignorant Brexit voters.

Corbyn lured away with fake Labour party

MPS have set up a decoy Labour party to keep Jeremy Corbyn harmlessly occupied while someone else takes over, they have revealed.