Politics

Labour to split party HQ down the middle, just like that episode of 'Steptoe and Son' 


THE Labour Party has agreed to split its headquarters straight down the middle after watching a classic 1972 episode of Steptoe and Son.

Owen Smith to start ISIS meeting with banter about whether Jaffa Cakes are biscuits

LABOUR leadership contender Owen Smith has revealed plans to engage ISIS with biscuit-based chit chat.

Farage takes long hard look in mirror and decides only his facial hair needs to change

NIGEL Farage has closely examined himself and decided his only flaw was a lack of facial hair.

Corbyn accuses his own left hand

JEREMY Corbyn has claimed that his left hand has been working to undermine him.

Everyone wondering what Trotskyists do all day

BRITONS are genuinely puzzled by what modern followers of Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky do with their time.

Cameron unable to claim Jobseeker’s Allowance for another five months

DAVID Cameron cannot claim unemployment benefit for another five months because he quit his last job, it has emerged.

Adults have sensible discussion about grammar schools

TWO adult humans have discussed grammar schools from opposing perspectives without either of them going off in a massive strop.

He actually spoke against Corbyn, says aghast Labour supporter

LABOUR leadership challenger Owen Smith stood on stage and said bad things about Jeremy Corbyn right to Jeremy’s face, shocked supporters have confirmed.