Politics

Corbyn celebrates two weeks of not being bumped off by MI5

JEREMY Corbyn has celebrated his first two weeks of not being assassinated by the British establishment.

UKIP votes to support staying in Europe

THE UKIP conference has voted to campaign for staying in Europe after all.

Future prime minister has one and only drug experience

THE MAN who will one day be Britain's prime minister has smoked cannabis for the first and only time.

Cameron took part in sordid act with head of live billionaire

DAVID Cameron took part in 'dirty' rituals involving the brain and mouth of a live billionaire, it has emerged.

Labour flummoxed over what to do about this pig thing

LABOUR spin doctors are puzzled as to how they can possibly use the pig sex thing to make David Cameron look bad.

‘A hooded stranger holding a pig’s head told me he could make me prime minister’

“My name is not important. Let’s just say that I want to help you. Do you have dreams David?”

This is all so undignified, says dead pig oral sex guy

RESPONDING to allegations about oral sex with a dead pig would be 'undignified', according to a man who once had oral sex with a dead pig.

Britons wearily accept that their prime minister put his cock in a pig's mouth

THE nation is not remotely surprised to hear that its leader shoved his penis into the mouth of a dead pig.