Politics

Boris Johnson proves exercise is bullshit, say experts

BORIS Johnson has baffled scientists by cycling every day but never looking any different.

Cameron faces harsh performance review after missing migrant targets

THE prime minister has admitted he is not looking forward to his next performance review after missing his migrant target by a quarter of a million.

Man who has never left Huddersfield thinks Britain should leave the EU

A MAN who has never left his home town of Huddersfield is certain that Britain should leave the EU, it has emerged.

I’m not f**king driving that, says Samantha Cameron

THE prime minister’s wife responded to his gift of a used Nissan Micra by going mental at him, it has emerged.

Woman torn on EU vote because she likes Jude Law but hates Keira Knightley

A WOMAN cannot decide which way to vote in the EU referendum because she fancies Jude Law but loathes Keira Knightley.

Strikes work brilliantly, says Jeremy Hunt

STRIKING is the absolute best way to get any improvement to pay and working conditions, the health secretary has conceded. 

Britons to be given universal right to Greggs

BRITISH citizens’ right to never be more than 1,000 metres from a branch of Greggs will be enshrined in law, the government confirmed yesterday.

Cameron and Trump bond following plane crash in bear country

DAVID Cameron and Donald Trump have learned mutual respect after being stranded together in a remote wilderness.