Politics

Increasingly forlorn Green Party poster still in window

A SAD-LOOKING poster asking people to vote Green is still up in the window of a house.

Cameron surprised at how quickly he’s turned into John Major

DAVID Cameron is genuinely shocked at the speed at which he has become a lame duck continually undermined by Tory Eurosceptics.

Sturgeon suggests Scotland could somehow become angrier

SCOTLAND is still not as angry as it could be, Nicola Sturgeon has claimed.

Labour hopefuls face sandwich-off

LABOUR'S leadership candidates will be tested on their ability to eat some chewy meat between two slices of bread.

Beach breaks ruined by refugees’ unbreakable human spirit

BRITISH tourists on the Greek island of Kos are having their holidays spoiled by refugees' stubborn desire to live.

The Mash guide to the Queen's Speech

THE Queen has outlined the evil plans of the new Conservative government, but how will they affect you?

Liz Kendall to punch UK's last coal miner

LABOUR leadership hopeful Liz Kendall has promised to punch the last surviving British coal miner hard in the face.

Osborne swears parliamentary oath on Necronomicon

GEORGE Osborne has sworn his oath of allegiance on the sacred book of the Old Ones of R'lyeh.