Gumshoe Ed Davey vows to solve energy company mystery

ENERGY Secretary Ed Davey has turned detective to find out why bills for gas and electricity are rising so sharply.

Clegg to form one-man party

NICK Clegg is to break away from the Liberal Democrats to form a party called Nick.

New cabinet told to have more affairs

THE Prime Minister has instructed his new cabinet to initiate high-profile sex scandals.

My dad actually hated my brother, says Miliband

ED Miliband has revealed that his father loved Britain but disliked David Miliband intensely.

David Cameron owns machine

THE prime minister has a machine and it makes bread.

Cameron announces £10 billion of legacy f*ck-ups

THE prime minister has announced £10 billion in groundbreaking legacy projects that will fail massively when someone else is in charge.

Ed Miliband still searching for his Kinnock-in-the-sea moment

ED Miliband has admitted that he's still looking for the moment that will indelibly define him as a bell-end.

Britons flock to Labour Party conference

EXCITED Britons have been rushing to see their favourite Labour politicians at the party conference in Brighton.