Politics

Everyone on your social media in agreement

EVERYONE on your social media accounts agrees that it will be a Tory landslide or a shock Labour victory, depending on who you are. 

Fate of nation depends on whether it's nice out

THOUSANDS of Briton are deciding whether or not democracy is worth getting rained on.

I am not evil because I am wearing white, explains May

THERESA May has explained to Britain that she is not the bad guy in this election because she is wearing white.

Couple staying up to watch their brief interest in politics die in real time

A COUPLE are staying up all night to witness the live televised death of their fleeting interest in politics.

Britain to make f**king awful decision

THE UK is on its way to the polling station to make a decision it is certain it will regret.

Boris chews through masking tape that has silenced him for last fortnight

BORIS Johnson has finally chewed through the masking tape that has sealed his mouth in the run-up to the election.

Nostalgic nation looks back on seven great years under the Tories

BRITAIN is today remembering all the cool things that have happened under Tory rule since 2010.

Voter physically unable to look at them

A VOTER is unable to bring himself to look at them, any of them, when they appear on the news.