|
A 5lb bag of potatoes has emerged as the early favourite to be the next leader of the Scottish Labour Party, as speculation mounts that Jack McConnell may stand down within weeks.
Andy Kerr, the former health minister and previous favourite for the post, may now step back from launching his own challenge to give the potatoes a free run.
However, it is believed he would stand for the deputy leadership alongside the potatoes in what Labour insiders are already calling a "dream ticket".
One said: "Andy has taken soundings and there are doubts that he's got what it takes to beat a 5lb bag of potatoes." The potatoes first came to prominence earlier this year when they were appointed by Jack McConnell as the replacement for education minister Peter Peacock.
As well as Kerr, the potatoes' chief rivals are likely to be shadow finance secretary Wendy Alexander or shadow justice minister Margaret Curran.
A Labour source said: "Wendy lacks the common touch we need to win back the voters. The potatoes are relaxed and friendly and unlike Wendy they can speak to the punters in a language they understand." The Contenders
Bag of Potatoes: A canny political operator who was seen as a safe bag of vegetables at the education department. The potatoes come from Ayrshire and were washed and packaged in Midlothian. They can be baked, boiled, mashed, deep fried or sauteed, though a Labour spokesman stressed that these are simply 'serving suggestions'. Bursting with charisma and fibre.
Wendy Alexander: A very bad political operator who was seen as an unsafe bag of vegetables at the enterprise department. The Paisley North MSP has tried to soften her image in recent years but many still doubt whether she is a human being. Her 'Hungry Caterpillar' speech last month was judged to be the worst moment in the history of Western Europe. Will have the support of teenage brother Douglas and fellow pod-creature Gordon Brown.
Margaret Curran: As the Dark Horse candidate, Curran can expect the support of black and brown coloured horses across the country. Feisty and determined are both words which Curran would love to live up to. But in reality she is a shy, timid doormat who is more likely to knit things for Alex Salmond instead of burning him at First Minister's Questions. Her thick Glasgow accent is likely to confuse Jack Straw.
Andy Kerr: Began his working life in a clothes shop, but now hates clothes and has to be coaxed into his underpants every morning. Spent 10 years as Frank MacAveety's butler, before joining the McConnell entourage as tie and shirt advisor. As health minister he tried to ban wine gums, buttered toast and the films of Walter Matthau. An ex-smoker, he now believes that smokers should be smoked "to see how they like it". Would bring an unhinged, puritanical style to the Labour leadership.
|