Bagpuss Clings To Power
BAGPUSS, Britain's leading fat, furry cat-puss, was last night accused of intimidating voters in his bid to remain the nation's favourite TV animal.
Opponents claim the saggy old cloth cat has deployed the mice from his marvellous mechanical mouse organ to rip down rival campaign posters and beat up members of the Magic Roundabout team.
Witnesses say Gabriel the Toad, Bagpuss's security adviser, threatened voters with an axe before dragging Dylan the Rabbit into a car park, tying his floppy ears together and kneeing him in the groin.
Bagpuss's opponents say he has been corrupted by his decades in power, accusing him of becoming baggy and a bit loose at the seams.
They have also dismissed his claims of an increase in manufacturing productivity, insisting it is just the same chocolate biscuit over and over again.
But Bagpuss's spokesman, Professor Yaffle, said: "Now, now, now, what is all this commotion?
"Intimidation and vote rigging, is it? Well I've never heard of anything so ridiculous in all my days. Calm down at once, you silly protestors."
Meanwhile Gabriel is enforcing a strict curfew, reminding frightened citizens that when Bagpuss goes to sleep all his friends go to sleep, 'or they might just fall down the stairs'.