BNP Actually A Wild Animal Charity

THE British National Party was founded as a charity to help nurse poorly hedgehogs back to health, lawyers studying the party’s constitution have found.

Sieg Heil

The BNP, founded by fascist hedgehog lover John Tyndall, originally stood for British Nature People and was set up as a network for volunteers who saved small birds and mammals while retaining the option to discuss the insidious Jew.

Lawyer Roy Hobbs said: “If you look at their constitution, the nearest thing to forced repatriation is the section on moving toads across busy roads during mating season.

“It seems that we may have misunderstood all those violent, skinhead psychopaths who think Hitler was a great man who should have been allowed to finish the job.”

BNP leader Nick Griffin has vowed to respect the original wishes of Tyndall and will re-focus the party’s efforts on ensuring that the British countryside contains only British animals.

Griffin said: “We see the effects of immigration on the once-proud face of the formerly albino badger, now a dreadful muddle of black and white.

“Honest, hardworking red squirrels can no longer afford a tree to live in as the governments hands out whole forests to grey squirrels who breed like rabbits.”

Asked whether this new direction could see the BNP change its policy on admitting non-whites into the party, Griffin said: “We will strive to be as multiculturally inclusive as the National Trust.”