I Like To Watch Ladies Undressing On The Beach, Says Hague

02-09-10

FOREIGN secretary William Hague has revealed how he likes to stare at women as they strip down to their bikinis.

The foreign secretary said the young ladies would be flattered by the attention

Mr Hague said any beach will do, but he prefers the Costa del Sol and French Riviera because quite often the ladies take off the top bit as well so you can see their boobs and everything.

In a keynote address to the Royal United Services Institute, he added: “Like most men, I look for a nice, elevated position overlooking the beach, put up a folding chair and get out my binoculars.

“I then scan the area looking for some really terrific boobs and knockers.

“Often I make notes or sketches which I then compare with my fellow boob watchers when we meet up for a large number of pints. It’s all just normal, healthy stuff.”

Stressing that the Afghan war was not an open-ended commitment, he said: “And have you seen that Coyote Ugly, when all the ladies dance on the bar? They’re so sexy with their smashing bottoms and their lovely knees.

“And I would also like to stress very strongly that Sienna Miller and Gemma Atkinson would get it. They’d get all of it. Seriously, you’ve no idea.

“As would Linford Christie. What? No, I mean Julie Christie. Don’t Look Now. Very sexy. Oh yes. Donald Sutherland’s dirty big knob flapping about. Actually, that was dreadful. If it was up to me they would all be banned.

“Knobs…”

Tom Logan, professor of politics at Reading University, said: “While Mr Hague is obviously as heterosexual as the next man, it is startling how many gay Tories there are, given the party’s tradition of viciously anti-gay policies.

“I wonder if it’s an S&M thing? I do hope so.”

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