I've Been Taking Advice From Prince Philip, Cameron Finally Admits
PRIME minister David Cameron has been receiving advice from Prince Philip on how to talk about foreigners, it was confirmed last night.
Downing Street revealed the one-on-one sessions after Mr Cameron was overheard referring to Iran as being ‘like Mordor full of mosques and kebab shops’.
The comments came just a week after he described Pakistan as a ‘nation of exploding shopkeepers’ and was photographed pulling at the corners of his eyes during a formal lunch with the prime minster of Japan.
A Downing Street spokesman said: “Shortly after taking office, the prime minister was briefed by the Duke of Edinburgh on the four basic, untrustworthy foreign types.
“Dagoes, golliwogs, slitty-eyed devils and what His Royal Highness called the ‘Olive-Skinned Fez Brigade’.
“The prime minister was given a bullet-point rundown on the key characteristics of each one, including thievery, violence, general laziness and surly ingratitude.”
The spokesman added: “His Royal Highness spent an awful lot of time talking about the slitty eyed devils, but he is nothing if not a 21st Century thinker.”
Tom Logan, professor of geo-politics at Reading University, said: “Prince Philip is often portrayed as being a hopelessly irrelevant old bugger, but in the recent public consultation on government cost cutting, more than 60 per cent suggested feeding immigrants to the big cats at Longleat Safari Park.
“Which indicates that the Prince does seem to have a deeper connection with the British psyche than the likes of Harriet Harman. I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
Meanwhile Mr Cameron will hold formal talks with President Zardari of Pakistan later today while dressed like one of the bomb disposal experts from The Hurt Locker.