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THE Liberal Democrats are the party of God-hating sexual deviants or they are nothing, new leader Nick Clegg declared last night.
 Jesus was obviously a bit thick, said Clegg
He also revealed he had appointed Brian Eno, the cross-dressing pervert musician, as his catamite, and said he loved to tie one end of a cat to a post and the other to his car before driving off.
Mr Clegg added: "I will respond to what Britain wants, particularly if they're looking for a mix of depraved sex acts and bible burning." Openly Christian Daily Mail columnist Peter Hitchens said: "The Lib Dems may feel comfortable having an atheist bisexual as their leader, but if I ever had to shake his hands I would wear gloves because of the AIDS. "How can someone who cavorts naked in his office with a man who used to dress as a woman and play in a band called Sexy Music be trusted with our children's future?" However, Peter Tatchell, the demented God-hating deviant activist, welcomed Mr Huhne's admission that he loved performing disgusting sex acts while vandalising cathedrals.
He added: "Millions of perfectly normal people spit on the Ten Commandments and adore bum. As a matter of fact, I'm coveting my neighbour's ass right now."
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