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| LONDONERS 'STINK OF EELS' SAYS BORIS JOHNSON |
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BORIS Johnson has kick-started his mayoral campaign by describing Londoners as 'ghastly, eel-breathed troglodytes'.
"Why can't they pay for their own beef and carrot concoction instead of expecting the taxpayer to be constantly riding to their rescue?" Johnson's campaign slogans will include, "London - Absolutely Ghastly" and "Londoners - What a Bunch of Shits". He will also write to the International Olympic Committee urging them to change their decision and award the 2012 games to Tehran. Mr Johnson added: "Upon reflection I am completely wrong. "I will now buy a megaphone and a hot air balloon so that I can apologise personally to the whole of London, the world's greatest city that smells of eels. Oh shit." |
| GUEST BLOG: NOEL GALLAGHER |
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THE Olympics - what the fuck was that all about? Every morning, right, that Scottish bird off the telly would sit on a sofa telling us that we'd won a bronze medal in the women’s catapult and that everyone could now go to work with a big smile on their face - in retrospect I think she somehow mistook me for somebody who gives a fuck. |
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