STAFF at the Scottish Executive are becoming increasingly annoyed by the unannounced visits of former First Minister Jack McConnell, the Daily Mash has learned.

"Great to see you Jack. We'll have a drink later, okay?"

One senior civil servant said: "It's usually around four o'clock on a Friday afternoon. He comes in, sits on the end of the desk and tries to reminisce with people. God it's awful.

"We always say how great it is too see him and promise that we'll meet him down the pub after work, but I don't think anyone ever actually goes - apart from that bloke in finance who's in the same five-a-side team."

An official in the education department added: "He'll say things like, 'oh, I'll bet it's not as good as the old days' and refers to the SNP as 'that lot' before rolling his eyes as if he's one of the 'gang'. He is such a fud.

"What he seems to  forget is that we spent five years working our bums off and getting nowhere thanks to his succession of mind-numbingly cretinous ideas."

The head of the Scottish Civil Service, Sir John Elvidge, said they were always happy to see McConnell but in future it would have to be outside office hours.

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