A YEAR long review of the rules governing MPs’ expenses last night concluded that you are a complete twat.
The House of Commons report said reform of the expenses system was necessary to make it more transparent and easier for MPs to put your money directly into their bank accounts.
Key changes include the scrapping of an annual allowance of £24,000 for running a second home, to be replaced with a radical new £24,000 second home grant.
A controversial £4,000 a year allowance for food will also be abolished, and MPs will now have to get by on a subsistence grant of just £4,000 instead.
Labour backbencher Tom Logan said: "Under the old system MPs could claim £35,000 a year in expenses without receipts. Now we will receive two payments of £17,500, the crucial difference being there will be no need for receipts."
He added: "If it seems complicated that's because it is, so don't even try to understand it because you might die."
Mr Logan then picked up a tennis ball, waved it in front of your eyes and pretended to throw it into the corner of the room.
After your unsuccessful attempts to retrieve the ball, he suddenly produced it from behind his back, leaving you confused but still excited.
He then waved the ball again and went to throw it into the opposite corner of the room, but when you ran over there you discovered it was still in his hand after all.
