Osborne should admit to cocaine-hooker binge even if it's not true

13-09-11

GEORGE Osborne may as well admit he had a night of coke-fuelled hooker sex even if he didn’t, it has emerged.

The only way is up

Opinion polls show the public could not possibly summon up any more contempt for the chancellor and that some may even respect him for hoovering a load of charlie off a massive pair of tits.

One poll suggests that while absolutely no-one believes he can run the economy, they do like to think of him being all posh and depraved, with the monstrous sexual appetites of the Emperor Nero as he swans about a brothel in a silk smoking jacket and sporting a bright purple condom.

Roy Hobbs from Peterborough, said: “None of these fuckers can run a bath so we should at least have leaders who go to the very crazy places inside their souls.

“As long as they pay for the tarts and the blow out of their own pocket then what the fuck do I care?”

Hobbs added: “And why was everyone so upset when he used the word ‘wankers’ at the GQ Awards last week? If he’d called them a bunch of grasping, self-absorbed cocksuckers I’d have volunteered to do some leafleting for him.

“Will they never learn?”

Senior MPs  are now queuing up to claim they did bad things with drugs and whores.

Labour leader Ed Miliband said: “I was on a sex swing, taking huge gulps from a bottle of absinthe and trying to set fire to my own dick.

“At one point the Brazilian tranny had his foot up my bum.”

 

 

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