Politics Headlines

Dreary left-wing arse wondering what he did before the internet

A MAN who spends a huge amount of time posting hysterical left-wing comments on websites is genuinely wondering how he coped before the internet.

David Davis offers to crucify himself as Brexit payment

DAVID Davis has offered himself for crucifixion if Britain can leave the EU on favourable terms.

We thought Brexit was a type of wafer biscuit, admit pensioners

ELDERLY 'Leave' voters have admitted they thought Brexit was a chocolate-covered wafer biscuit.

Livingstone publishes list of all the people he should have killed when he was mayor

KEN Livingstone has claimed Britain would be a much better place if he had killed all the people on his hit list when he had the chance.

Vince Cable to appeal to young people by voting for Jeremy Corbyn

VINCE Cable has unveiled plans to appeal to younger voters by saying he is going to vote for Jeremy Corbyn too.

Theresa May spends holiday planning next disaster

THE prime minister has confirmed that she is spending her three-week walking holiday trying to come up with something even more ruinous than her last terrible idea.

Hardcore Remainers become equally unbearable

DIE-HARD Remain supporters have become just as hellish and unbearable as their Brexit counterparts, it has emerged.

Naive man thinks Tories care about things

A MAN takes Tory proposals that are obviously just public relations exercises completely at face value, it has emerged.