Politics Headlines

Brexiter to claim he was 'just kidding'

A BREXITER who has finally realised it will not turn out well is to claim he was just joking.

Lib Dem leadership race between someone you’ve never heard of and two-thirds of a fart

TWO frontrunners have emerged in what is expected to be the most exciting Lib Dem leadership contest since William Gladstone defeated Florence Nightingale in 1865.

Today not the day for blame, say right-wing hatemongers

BRITONS should not turn against each other but remain united in love, according to prominent right-wing extremists keen to move on.

Backbench Tories in plot to find vaguely competent bastard

CONSERVATIVE MPs are plotting to replace Theresa May with someone who is just as cynical and nasty but not really bad at everything.  

May still prime minister for some f**king reason

THERESA May is still the prime minister of the United Kingdom and no-one has the faintest idea why, it has been confirmed.

They might have upset me, says May

THERESA May has explained that she could not speak to residents of Grenfell Tower because she is feeling insecure and vulnerable right now.

Nation breathes sigh of relief as it is spared religious dictatorship under Tim Farron

BRITAIN has narrowly escaped becoming a Christian dictatorship under the iron hand of Tim Farron. 

Britons demand right to keep f**king up and not get sacked

WORKERS should have the same rights as politicians to completely bollocks things up and not lose their jobs, it has been claimed.