Politics Headlines

You do know that I’m the leader of the Labour Party, Corbyn asks May

JEREMY Corbyn has responded to Theresa May’s appeal for his help by reminding her that he is the leader of the Labour Party.

May placed on zero-hours contract

THERESA May’s position as prime minister is on a zero-hours contract meaning she does not even know if she will be working next week.

Politics to have football-style season to give voters break from relentless horseshit

POLITICS is to be run on a season-to-season basis like football, in order to give the public regular breaks from the unbearable quantity of bullshit.

Cameron: Am I the only good, selfless person left in Britain? 

OVER the last year, I have been left aghast by the selfishness of Britons in their wilful, egocentric behaviour. 

Theresa May not speaking to public until they say sorry

THE prime minister is pointedly not speaking to the people of Britain until they apologise to her, and is furious that they do not seem to have noticed.

Boris charm officially runs out

BORIS Johnson's comic persona is officially past its sell-by date, experts have confirmed.

All fish to be granted UK passports

EVERY fish in the world has been declared a subject of Her Majesty the Queen.

No hard feelings about that austerity thing, eh? say Tories

SEVEN years of unnecessarily brutal economic policies were no big deal and Britain should just move on now, Tory leaders have explained.