Politics Headlines

Britain to make f**king awful decision

THE UK is on its way to the polling station to make a decision it is certain it will regret.

Boris chews through masking tape that has silenced him for last fortnight

BORIS Johnson has finally chewed through the masking tape that has sealed his mouth in the run-up to the election.

Nostalgic nation looks back on seven great years under the Tories

BRITAIN is today remembering all the cool things that have happened under Tory rule since 2010.

Voter physically unable to look at them

A VOTER is unable to bring himself to look at them, any of them, when they appear on the news.

Bellends urged not to vote

BELLENDS across the UK have been urged to not use their vote.

Tory annoyingly not a total monster

A CONSERVATIVE voter has annoyed everyone by not being as evil as they had hoped.

The Mash guide to having a political conversation

HOW to handle the living hell of a political conversation.

Divided nation bonds over Diane Abbott's crapness

FRIENDS and families torn apart by politics are coming together and healing over the crapness of Diane Abbott.