Politics Headlines

May's last remaining ally is an imaginary rat called Bixby

THERESA May’s last remaining ally in cabinet is an imaginary rat called Bixby that wears a hat, she has confirmed.  

Labour confirms Brexit strategy as pandering to shouty Northern bastards

LABOUR’S Brexit strategy mainly consists of not upsetting angry Northern men like the ones on Question Time, senior MPs have revealed.

'I'm still in control', says most ironic prime minister ever

THERESA May is head-and-shoulders ahead of rivals in the competition to be Britain’s most ironic prime minister ever, historians believe.  

EU comforts May by reminding her it doesn’t give a shit

BRUSSELS officials have comforted Theresa May by reminding her they care no more about her stupid Commons defeat than they did about her idiot election.

Trump visit could actually be the thing that stops us all hating each other, agrees Britain

BRITONS have agreed that a visit from American's evil president next year could actually be the thing that reunites their divided nation.

May confirms 'sense of optimism' actually means 'never-ending sea of piss'

THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.

Britain advances to phase two of being absolutely shafted

THE UK has achieved a significant breakthrough in the process of being done hard by the EU, and can now move to being properly shafted.

Remainers absolutely loving Brexit now

REMAINERS have confessed that they are thoroughly enjoying the humiliating collapse of Brexit and cannot wait to see what happens next.