Politics Headlines

Tories to change Universal Credit but only for evil bastard reasons

UNIVERSAL Credit is to be reformed but out of self-interest not human decency, Tories have revealed.

Jacob Rees-Mogg preparing for World War Two

TORY MP Jacob Rees-Mogg believes that despite the prime minister’s attempts to appease Germany, Britain is once again on the verge of World War Two.

Doomsayer ruining Brexit by thinking about it

A SELFISH bastard is putting Britain’s excellent Brexit plan at risk by thinking about the consequences.

Theresa May: ‘I have full support of Cabinet for some bizarre f**king reason’

THERESA May has confirmed the Cabinet agrees she is the best person to be prime minister and that everyone should let that sink in for a minute.  

What about no prime minister, suggests Britain

BRITAIN has given its backing to a radical new plan of replacing Theresa May with nobody at all and leaving the post permanently vacant.

May: I will never forgive you for feeling sorry for me

THERESA May has vowed to humiliate and destroy everyone who felt sympathy for her yesterday.

Okay, you win, you’re the worst prime minister, concedes Cameron

FORMER prime minister David Cameron has given in and conceded that his successor Theresa May is the worst prime minister of the 21st century.

Normal humans struggling to imagine event where highlight is a speech by Theresa May

NORMAL people are trying to comprehend a days-long event where the best bit is Theresa May saying things.