Politics Headlines

Hammond separates Bourbons before eating them, says latest Tory leak

PHILIP Hammond removes the top of his Bourbon biscuits to lick the cream inside, the latest damaging leak from Cabinet meetings has claimed.

Having a female leader is simply not credible, confirms Labour

HAVING a woman in a leading role that has always been filled by a man is just not credible, the Labour Party has confirmed.

You owe me money, Hammond tells public sector workers

PHILIP Hammond has told public sector workers that they should pay back what he has given them.

Government department DExEU ‘stole name from grime artist’

THE cool-sounding name of the Brexit department DExEU was lifted by senior Conservatives from an up-and-coming grime MC, it has emerged.

May 'shed tear that burned through three floors and an intern'

THERESA May has admitted that the ‘devastating’ election result made her shed a tear which burned through a desk, three floors and a young intern.

Brexit plan actually more like a Clockwork Orange, confirms auditor general

THE official who compared the government's Brexit plan to a chocolate orange has clarified he actually meant the senseless brutality of the film A Clockwork Orange.

Brexiters compare Great Repeal Bill to their bollocks version of history

BREXIT supporters have compared the 'Great Repeal Bill' to the Magna Carta and other momentous historical events they do not understand.

May in worst relaunch since Opal Fruits became Starburst

THERESA May's attempted relaunch is the worst since the Opal Fruits-Starburst catastrophe of 1998, it has been confirmed.