Politics Headlines

You can demand the papers of anyone suspiciously foreign after Brexit, leak reveals

BRITONS will be empowered to demand the papers of anyone a bit foreign-looking after Brexit, a leak has revealed. 

Jacob Rees-Mogg the new Boaty McBoatface

JACOB Rees-Mogg is favourite to be the new Tory leader because Britain votes for whatever is funny, it has confirmed.

Even I'm not sanctimonious enough to turn vegan, says Corbyn

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted that even he is not self-righteous and smug enough to become a vegan. 

David Davis to negotiate Brexit by pretending to be deaf

DAVID Davis is to get through the next round of Brexit negotiations by cupping his hand to his ear and pretending he is unable to hear.

I'm here for the long term, says wasp in kitchen

A LATE-SUMMER wasp in a kitchen has reassured the electorate that it is here for the long-term.

May goes in for upgrade

THERESA May has been returned to her Japanese manufacturers Hitachi for a full factory upgrade.  

Kezia Dugdale quits to become prophet of doom

SCOTTISH Labour leader Kezia Dugdale has quit to wander her native land as a scorned prophet whose warnings of imminent destruction will be ignored. 

Gary Neville's commentary on the Brexit negotiations

FORMER Manchester United footballer Gary Neville has been providing live commentary on the ongoing Brexit negotiations. Here are some highlights.