Rees-Mogg ‘alarmed and aroused’ by EU ‘punishment’

JACOB Rees-Mogg has admitted to being alarmed and quite turned on by the thought of EU punishment.

The Tory MP said: “The threat was made in a leaked document. Even the word ‘leaked’ was enough to get my motor running.

“Then they started talking about the power to restrict access to the single market and punishment during the transition period. I’ll be honest, all I heard was ‘power’ and ‘punishment’ and I had to go to the lavatory to be alone with my sinful thoughts.

“The EU is clearly trying to dominate us, which is obviously unacceptable, but also deeply arousing.

“To be honest, I think that’s why I haven’t made any great efforts to topple May. All that talk of taking back control and crushing saboteurs…

“You’ll have to excuse me for a minute, I’ve been such a bad saboteur.”