Romney 'repulsed' by people under six foot
MITT Romney’s presidential campaign suffered a blow today as footage emerged of him calling for the deportation of relatively short people.
The Republican made the off-the-cuff remarks during an official press conference, after misinterpreting a question about what he’d do to help the little people of America.
Romney said: “Look, I don’t trust shortasses. They move about too quick for you to see what they’re doing and they can hide under desks to do Christ knows what.
“That Snow White movie always creeped me out as a kid, imagine those tiny hands all over your face and hair like hungry crabs.
“Even today I won’t have anybody on my staff who can’t play a decent game of basketball.
“I tell you what, Texas is pretty empty, we should move them out there and really study them to see what they’re up to.”
Romney later admitted that his statement contained ‘a modicum of expressive inexactitude’, but stood by his policy of detaining the non-tall on the grounds that they contribute nothing to the economy and may be poisoning the water supply.
He promised to personally place ten of his eighteen grandchildren on a bus to Galveston with instructions not to return home until they have to duck to get through the front door.
Romney also acknowledged the effect his anti-short leanings would have on foreign policy, admitting that if he were to become president the US would sever all diplomatic ties with Japan.
Romney added: “I’m tall and I did good in life. I really can’t make it any simpler than that.”