Queen to crowbar cannabis legalisation into speech
THE Queen will announce the legalisation of cannabis tomorrow, against the government’s wishes.
A leaked copy of the official speech, amended with the Queen’s handwriting, shows the monarch will overrule the coalition’s firm stance on marijuana.
The speech reads: “It is such nonsense that puff is still illegal.
“I fail to see how it is any more harmful than fags, less so perhaps if smoked in a vapouriser.
“Personally I prefer a vape anyway because it’s smoother, but that’s personal opinion – I don’t want to get all political here.
“Anyway weed is legal now. And that’s that.”
Later in the speech, a bill banning wild animals in circuses has been amended to read “except tigers and those funny little monkeys”.
The Queen has also written a short section banning fennel: “You always get it at state dinners and it’s rank.”