A MAN'S brain has erased all remnants of GCSE French in order to relearn the moves to the Macarena.
AN office is in meltdown because the one member of staff who understands how everything works has taken the day off.
A WOMAN who adds ‘LOL!’ to the end of all communication thinks she can get away with being completely vile.
A FAMILY have spent the Easter holidays giving their National Trust cards an absolute fucking hammering.
THE EU has dared to have a list of demands for the Brexit negotiations when it is Britain that will be doing the demanding.
THE news that cycling cuts the risk of cancer by half has given cyclists another reason to be insufferably smug, it has emerged.
A FRIEND is celebrating his birthday near his flat in Stoke Newington, despite it being miles from where everyone else lives.
COMPLICATED mathematical equations requiring viewers to work out how many people equal 78 per cent of 237 remain the best way to sell shampoo, say experts.