SHOPPERS have told retailers that a ten per cent discount is worthless so they may as well stop pretending otherwise.
PUTTING a calorie count on alcohol labels is not annoying or patronising, it has emerged.
EXPERTLY carving a Halloween pumpkin is the new way to demonstrate your virility, men have confirmed.
A SUCCESSFUL City banker has asked everyone to stop suggesting he secretly has a heart of gold.
THE parents of 25-year-old Nathan Muir are celebrating their son’s decision to abandon his band for a job in a bank.
THE Met Office has built a new supercomputer that can detect bad weather and send robots back in time to stop it.
43-YEAR-OLD Tom Booker’s cleaning regime is repeatedly applying to a TV series where strangers come and sort it out.
BURGER chain McDonald’s has a new slogan emphasising that at least its product is unpretentious.
- Next person who says they are ‘loving’ something to get punched in the face
- Villages’ quirky Halloween celebrations also involve human sacrifice
- Immigration poll reveals Daily Mail working like a charm
- Middle class people wishing they could spend holidays in a hotel
- NASA tells astronauts to just go ahead and eat each other