News

Humans undecided on total destruction of nature versus having cool stuff

HUMANITY is conflicted over whether it is worth decimating the planet to maintain the supply of desirable consumer goods.

Kelly Brook leaves earthly plane

MODEL Kelly Brook has left the mortal plane to travel the higher realms looking for love.

Middle class parents leaving public school prospectuses lying around

PARENTS unable to afford school fees have been reduced to leaving public school prospectuses in highly visible areas of their homes.

‘Totally legal’ things always morally wrong

ANYTHING described as ‘totally legal’ is always the wrong thing to do, it has emerged.

Pinch and punch to be rigidly enforced

OFFICIALS will enforce 'pinch, punch, first of the month' tomorrow, it has been confirmed.

Playing Xbox on YouTube now leading UK industry

THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.

Britain demands weirder-looking dogs

DOG enthusiasts have called for stranger and more physically dysfunctional breeds.

EU popular when humiliating America

PUBLIC support for the European Union peaks when it is lording it over the USA, it has emerged.