A WOMAN’S otherwise convincing presentation has been undermined by the fading nightclub entry stamp on the back of her hand.
DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.
A FRIEND’S friend has revealed himself to be an unmitigated arsehole.
NORMAL people will be able to commandeer the lifestyle of a local hipster, it has been confirmed.
A WOMAN has set aside an entire day to binge-read a single chapter of Tolstoy’s War & Peace.
A MAN in an uncharacteristically buoyant mood is unable to tell his colleagues it is due to having scored two grams of cocaine for the weekend.
THE recent spate of celebrity deaths is because you, and all the famous people you like, are getting really old, experts have confirmed.
A MAN who has been waiting for his Argos purchase for more than 15 minutes is being arbitrarily detained in violation of his human rights, the UN has ruled.