Roomba unveils 'Roomba for Shaving'

ROBOT vacuum cleaner company Roomba has unveiled a robot which shaves you while you sleep.

Couple exploring exotic new way to get shitfaced

A COUPLE have decided to add some variety to their relationship by getting drunk in front of the television on cocktails.

Anti-insanity vaccinations easiest way to stop mass shootings, claims gun lobby

VACCINATING everyone against mental illness is the easiest and most practical way to prevent mass shootings, according to America’s gun lobby.

98 per cent of computers emitting puns

MOST of the computers, tablets and phones in Britain are emitting puns, all of which are hellish, it has emerged.

iPhone owners being into bondage 'makes perfect sense'

A PORN site has confirmed that iPhone owners are deeply submissive masochists who love pain, exactly as you would expect.

Daddy long legs in bath ‘just as uncomfortable as you are’

A DADDY long legs trapped in a bath has admitted the situation is far from ideal.

Everyone has forgotten what Cameron was rumoured to have done

THE story that went round last week about David Cameron has completely disappeared from the public mind, it has emerged.

Child of smoker thrilled with sturdy new boots and compass

THE child of a smoker is thrilled with his sturdy new walking boots and 'military-style' compass.