JULIAN Assange is to hand himself over to US officials after watching every film that doesn't feature Adam Sandler.
A WOMAN is continuing to share ‘inspirational’ Facebook memes long after everyone else decided they were cliched drivel, it has emerged.
A FRIEND from London has asked you to let her know by this afternoon if you are free for a drink in April.
TWO hot, incredibly annoying posh girls have unveiled the latest bullshit fad diet.
DONALD Trump has started his day by idly crossing off countries on a map of the world.
A MAN on Facebook has decided to not wish happy birthday to someone he only kind of knows.
THE stars-and-stripes is switching colour scheme to orange, purple and white to match President Trump’s facial colouring.
DONALD Trump has confirmed that the next four years are going to be as fucked up as his campaign.
- Police taser race relations leader for suggesting they stop tasering black people
- Final section of pre-apocalypse montage filmed at 5pm today
- ‘Fake news’ to be delightful and fun
- Radio 4 listener to spend whole of Desert Island Discs pretending not to know who Beckham is
- We will not think any less of you if you back out now, humanity tells Trump