News

Naomi Klein’s great hair detracting from serious message

ACTIVIST and author Naomi Klein’s hair looks too good, it has been claimed.

Dermot O'Leary shown montage of his best moments then fed to beasts

FORMER X Factor host Dermot O’Leary was shown clips of his time on the show before being dropped into Simon Cowell’s carnivore pit.

People who like big decorative letters cannot even read

PEOPLE with big letters strewn around their homes are illiterate morons, it has been confirmed.

Chocolate still vastly inferior to chips

AS Britain prepares to spend £300 million on chocolate, experts have confirmed that chips are still far better.

Lost hour would have been incredible

BRITONS lost what would have been their greatest hour over the weekend.

Farage’s Purple Revolution intended as sequel to Color Purple

NIGEL Farage has revealed the original version of his new book was about African-American lesbians.

Nobody cares about second baby, Kate told

THE Duchess of Cambridge has been advised that interest in her forthcoming baby is hovering around zero.

Schoolkids rule the bus, confirm experts

RESEARCHERS have definitively proven that children aged 11-16 are in complete command of any bus they are on.