MILLIONS of Britons are descended from the bastard offspring of aristocrat-defiled domestic drudges, it was claimed yesterday.
ED Balls has condemned children's commissioner Dr Maggie Atkinson for using her years of professional experience in forming an opinion.
THE estate of Michael Jackson has signed a record breaking contract and vowed not to spend it all on funfairs, hush money and giraffes.
THE horrific, soul-destroying journey you make every morning to the job that makes you want to die will soon cost a record breaking amount of money.
TEENAGE boys are to be given lessons in how to release the vice-like grip on their penises for five minutes and get some sleep.
A THEME park inspired by the graphic cruelty of 'torture porn' horror films is too mild for most British children, it was claimed yesterday.
TEDIOUS prog rockers Pink Floyd have won their legal bid to make you listen to every last bit of their ghastly albums.
TEACHERS who watch the offensive US medical drama Grey's Anatomy will not be banned from the classroom, the government has confirmed.
News
MILLIONS of Britons are descended from the bastard offspring of aristocrat-defiled domestic drudges, it was claimed yesterday.
ED Balls has condemned children's commissioner Dr Maggie Atkinson for using her years of professional experience in forming an opinion.
THE estate of Michael Jackson has signed a record breaking contract and vowed not to spend it all on funfairs, hush money and giraffes.
TEENAGE boys are to be given lessons in how to release the vice-like grip on their penises for five minutes and get some sleep.
A THEME park inspired by the graphic cruelty of 'torture porn' horror films is too mild for most British children, it was claimed yesterday.
TEDIOUS prog rockers Pink Floyd have won their legal bid to make you listen to every last bit of their ghastly albums.