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ROBBIE ORDERS BRITAIN: STRIP DOWN TO YOUR UNDIES

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For Christ's sake just do what he says

BRITIAN will arrive at work this morning dressed in nothing but its underpants, following the latest decree from Robbie Williams.

His Magnificence issued the command yesterday morning after he became momentarily bored while taking a bath.

His official spokesman said the underpants rule is in place until further notice, although shoes and umbrellas will be allowed in the event of bad weather.

He added: "Robbie would really like to see some thongs, some novelty pants and some great big nappies, so let's not disappoint him."

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ATHEISTS ARE NICE PEOPLE WHO WILL ROAST IN HELL, SAYS CARDINAL

ATHEISTS and agnostics are decent people whose tormented souls will burn for all eternity in the scorching fires of hell, Britain's biggest catholic said last night.

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ITV FINED £6M FOR ANT & DEC

ITV was last night fined a record £6m for Ant and Dec.

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Opinion

ONE WOMAN'S WEEK: FIGHTING THE FAT

By Karen Fenessey

I really believe it’s a wonderful thing that I can look around our British streets and see so many different walks of life being not only tolerated, but encouraged. The whites walk alongside the blacks, the rich with the poor, and the gays with the normal.

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