News
Jail Is Like 'Mean Girls' But With Massive, Angry Lesbians, Judge Tells Lohan
LINDSAY Lohan has been assured that jail will be reminiscent of her 2004 hit film Mean Girls but with a lot more large, aggressive bull-dykes who want to use her for sport.
6 Music To Continue Doing Whatever It Supposedly Does
NOBODY is sure whether 6 Music has started broadcasting again, whether it stopped or what it actually does, following a decision by the BBC Trust.
Jedward Turned Into Subway Filling
TRAGIC pop accident Jedward is to be eaten in a bap as part of a special offer meal deal at Subway.
Government Unveils School App
THOUSANDS of schools across Britain are to be replaced with an iPhone app costing just 99p.
Middle Class Parents Exhausting, Say Babies
INFANTS are finding it difficult to cope with their middle class parents' tedious angst about their careers and 'creative space', it was claimed last night.
Atheists Declare Victory After Jordan Marriage Blessing
ATHEISTS claimed victory last night after the church which hosted Jordan's marriage blessing failed to burst into flames.
Happiness Finally Available In Department Stores
AFTER a lengthy period of product development, Happiness hit the shelves of major stores today, priced £12.99.
Anna Chapman Also Has Fantastic Tits, Claims FBI
ANNA CHAPMAN, the suspected Russian spy, also has a cracking set of charlies, the FBI confirmed last night.
