News
Four Year-Old Dog Found Guilty Of Rape
A FAMILY dog is beginning a prison sentence today after being convicted of raping a hat, a seat cushion and a 32 year-old knee.
Sarah Ferguson Claims Prince Andrew Does Something
THE Duchess of York has admitted to an 'appalling lack of judgement' after giving the impression that her former husband does something.
Moir Condemns Ronan Keating's Sordid Heterosexual Lifestyle
DAILY Mail columnist Jan Moir was facing calls to to resign last night after attacking Boyzone singer Ronan Keating's 'sleazy' heterosexual lifestyle.
Tardy Shoppers Slaughtered By Minotaur
SUPERMARKET giant Tesco claims to have solved the problem of late shoppers by letting Minotaurs loose at 9.50pm.
Concern Grows Over Ninja School Standards
MANY ninja school-leavers are unfit for even the least dangerous missions, according to leading UK warlords.
Novello Judges Sectioned
A GROUP of music 'experts' were last night being assessed by
psychologists after Lily Allen won three awards for song writing.
I'd Play God, Says Everyone
AS scientists created artificial life for the first time, people across
Britain said if it was them they would be playing God like it was going
out of fashion.
Have You Seen My Tits Yet? Asks Kim Kardashian
KIM Kardashian would like to draw your attention to her breasts, it was confirmed last night.
