News
John Barrowman Easily Defeats The Power Of Prayer
TORCHWOOD actor John Barrowman's demonic homosexuality last night scored an effortless victory over the power of prayer.
Amanda Holden Reverting To Dung
THE sorcery holding Amanda Holden together is wearing off, it emerged yesterday.
Schools Deserted
BRITAIN'S schools stood empty today, apart from 440,000 joyful teachers swinging tube socks filled with two-pence pieces.
Asda Guarantees Its Customers Will Be Uglier Than You
SUPERMARKET giant Asda has launched a new campaign pledging to maintain the least attractive customer base in Britain.
Word 'Bigot' Loses All Meaning
THE word 'bigot', introduced into the English language in the late 16th Century, lost all meaning shorty after 11pm last night, it has been confirmed.
Skanky Shop Dummies To Entertain Bored, Angry Men
BUXOM, whorish dummies are set to give some respite to bad-tempered men in clothes shops.
Adrian Chiles 'Racially Abused A Badger'
ANIMAL rights protesters have condemned Adrian Chiles after footage showed him shouting 'half breed' at a frightened badger.
Greece To Destroy Western Civilisation
THE history of Western civilisation is expected to come full circle today when Greece brings it crashing to the ground.
