News

Bond Films To Be Renamed Again

20-04-10

THE producers of the James Bond franchise have warned they may be forced to return to renaming the old films and hoping no-one notices.

Elderly Re-Assert Their Right To Offend

20-04-10

SEVEN out of 10 old people are starting to notice that everyone in the room switches off the second they start talking, according to a new survey.

Lennon's LSD Stash To Be Remastered And Sold For Ten Times Its Street Value

20-04-10

DRUGS belonging to deceased Beatle John Lennon are to be slightly re-vamped and then sold at exorbitant prices to obsessive, middle-aged Beatles fans.

Met Office Finally Blamed

20-04-10

AFTER five days of disciplined self-control Britain finally gave in last night and blamed the Met Office for volcanoes.

Goldman Sachs 'Did Not Have Magic Beans'

19-04-10

MERCHANT bank Goldman Sachs has not been using magic beans to generate its multi-billion dollar profits, it was claimed last night.

Stranded Tourists To Be Fired From A Cannon

19-04-10

THOUSANDS of British tourists stranded in Calais will begin their journey home today by climbing into the end of a giant cannon pointed roughly at Kent.

Britain Now Factoring Volcanoes Into Everyday Life

16-04-10

MILLIONS of people across Britain are today beginning the process of incorporating volcanoes into their everyday lives.

'Here Come The Girls' Leads To New Strain Of Harpie

16-04-10

THE song from the Boots adverts has created an unstoppable strain of demented, screeching harpie, experts claimed last night.

The new Mash Book - Welcome to the Mental Hospital

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