News
Maltese Town Dresses Phallic Statue In School Shorts
A MALTESE town is to cover its famous phallic statue in a school uniform to avoid offending the Pope.
Fury Over Padded Bikinis For Pets
ANIMAL rights groups have called for a ban on a new range of provocative padded beachwear for pets.
'I Can't Come Into Work Because Of The Volcano'
THOUSANDS of people across Britain are planning an early start to the weekend today as the Icelandic volcano presented them a fascinating new excuse.
Gay Priests Have Sex With Men, Say Experts
PRIESTS who are gay are 100% more likely to have sex with men rather than boys, experts have claimed.
US Teenager To Climb Everest For Crafty Ham Shank
AN American teenager has announced plans to scale Mount Everest so he can finally masturbate in peace.
Fears Grow That Recycling Could Become Inconvenient
A PLAN to install slop buckets in homes and offices has raised concerns that being environmentally-friendly could start to become a bit of a pain in the arse again.
Stop Serving Food That Looks Like A Vagina, Say Customers
RESTAURANTS across Britain are being urged to stop serving food that looks like a lady's fandango.
Apple To Fix Malfunctioning iPad Customers
MALFUNCTIONING iPad customers are to be 'fixed', Apple confirmed last night.
- Simon Cowell Still Very Much Alive
- Hunt For Swine Flu Vaccine Receipt Intensifies
- Workers 'Need More Pretend Training With Overpaid Bullshit Merchants'
- 'Intelligent' Gorillas Still Unable To Build Time-Travelling Delorean, Say Experts
- Male Sex Addicts Cured By 'Mamma Mia!'
