News
Perfect Vagina Includes Video Screen And Crisp Dispenser, Say Men
THE perfect vagina would have a built-in video player with a cheese and onion crisp dispenser attached to it, men said last night.
iPhone Virus Just Increasing Numbers Talking To You About Their iPhone
The first virus to infect the Apple iPhone will greatly increase the chance of somebody talking to you about their iPhone, IT experts warned last night.
Cougars Not As Good As They Sound
AS numbers of older women seeking young male flesh spiral, boys are being warned that they are nothing like the ones on the internet
Bastard Water Voles Are Loving It
GLOATING water voles last night said they were loving it as new figures show they are thriving while everyone else is screwed.
God Is A Banker
GOD has revealed himself to be the head of Goldman Sachs, and that the real purpose of human existence is to get extraordinarily rich by 40 and buy yourself an island.
Child Anvil Injuries At Record High
VIOLENCE in cartoons is causing children to drop massive anvils on each others' heads, stockpile TNT or mess around with huge magnets, a new report has warned.
Massive Drink Benders 'Should Be Better Organised'
ENORMOUS 1p-a-pint student drink bender clubs should be less haphazard affairs, a judge has warned.
Bosses Quite Happy With Levels Of Workplace Stress
COMPANY bosses have welcomed a new survey showing employees are experiencing exactly the right levels of stress to keeping them working like mules.
