News
Teenage Boys Assure Surgery-Fixated Girls That They Would Totally Do Them
AS statistics reveal 50% of teenage girls want cosmetic surgery, a collective of teenage boys has said they'd happily finger them just as they are.
Griffin Could Make Our Electricity Racist, Claims Sellafield
BNP lunatic Nick Griffin has been banned from the Sellafield nuclear plant amid fears he could make Britain's electricity all racist and homophobic.
BA Staff Condemn Customers To Christmas With Their Families
STRIKE action by BA staff may force thousands of passengers to spend Christmas with their unbearable families, it emerged last night.
BBC To Run All It's Jokes Past Jethro
NEW BBC editorial guidelines state that all jokes must be cleared by Jethro, Cornwall's leading comedy exponent and pasty enthusiast.
Britain's Children Can't Get Any Fatter, Say Experts
BRITAIN'S children are close to reaching their critical mass, according to a new scientific report.
Banks To Be Broken Up Into Kittens
ROYAL Bank of Scotland, Lloyds and Northern Rock are to be broken up into lovely little kittens that would not hurt a fly, it emerged last night.
Twitter Users Dare You To Even Think It
JUST say whatever it was you were going to say and then let's see what happens next, Twitter users warned last night.
