WITH house prices now more than 400 times the average salary, more and more young people are being forced to live in hot air ballons, according to new research.

JK ROWLING has revealed she is to write an eighth Harry Potter book after all, although the best selling author says she is through with “all that fantasy pish”.

POLICE in Jamaica have closed their 26-year investigation into the death of Bob Marley and admitted the reggae superstar was not murdered by wizards.

BAE Systems' ethical reputation i under fresh scrutiny after a Daily Mash investigation revealed the company is deeply involved in the international arms trade. 

SCOTLAND'S invasion of Holland has been postponed indefinitely after the Dutch Navy seized a consignment of 25,000 Scottish infantry sporrans.

SCIENTISTS yesterday unveiled what they claim will be the world's smuggest house. 

SCOTLAND is to be compared to African countries for the next four years after another dismal display against its European counterparts.