News
Everyone To Run Everything By Stephen Fry
EVERYONE is to run everything past Stephen Fry first just to make sure it's okay, it was confirmed last night.
Balloon Hoax Is A Hoax Balloon Hoax, Claims FBI
THE Colorado balloon hoax is really a hoax balloon hoax, the FBI said last night.
Arctic To Be Just Lovely
THE Arctic Circle is on course to be really quite lovely by 2019, new research has confirmed.
Angry Cheryl Fans Demand Real Miming
CHERYL Cole has angered fans after it emerged she will perform on the X-Factor using a remote controlled, animatronic mouth to mimic the appearance of live miming.
Children Should Be Educated, Say Experts
BRITISH children should be taught things by trained professionals in some sort of large building, according to a major new report.
Plinth Art Project To Continue In Swindon Lapdancing Club
THE manager of a Swindon table dancing club last night offered members of the public the chance to express themselves on a plinth, especially if they have big tits.
Do Chris Martin Next, Says Everyone
THE man who punched Leona Lewis in the side of the head was last night urged to have a pop at Chris Martin when he has a minute.
JJB Drops 'Sports' From Title After Admitting It Was Fooling Nobody
JJB Sports, the troubled high street vendor of television watching apparel, has finally dropped the 'Sports' from its name.
