News
Pope To Fulfil Lifelong Dream Of Invading Britain
POPE Benedict will fulfil a childhood dream next year by invading Britain as the infallible head of a fanatical regime.
Moon Could Support Middle-Class Life, Say Experts
SCIENTISTS have claimed that the moon could support middle-class life forms after the discovery of a crater containing a Pizza Express and an excellent primary school.
Fatties Urged To Buy Mirrors Instead Of Pies
MOST fat people are unaware they are overweight because they spend all their money on cheesy pies instead of a mirror, according to a new survey.
Anger At EU Ban On Wanky Shit Pudding
THERE was anger last night as European bureaucrats threatened to outlaw classic British puddings such as freckled ball bag and boiled arseholes.
Obama To Meet Bulgarian Deputy Sports Minister
PRESIDENT Obama has cleared his schedule for a high level meeting with Bulgaria's deputy minister for sport.
Princes' Charity Work To Distract You From All The Dicking About
PRINCES William and Harry are to give a higher profile to their charity work as they continue to have a thoroughly splendid time with lots of your money.
James May To Be Demolished
TOP Gear presenter James May is facing demolition after it emerged his parents did not apply for permission to build a twat.
Bankrupt Britain Forced To Give Up Weapons It Never Needed
GORDON Brown will this week tell the United Nations that Britain can no longer afford a fleet of multi-billion pound nuclear submarines it never needed in the first place.
- Satanist Nurse Faces Sack For Summoning Demon
- Afghan Refugees Want To Live In A Country That Complains About Alesha Dixon
- Most Men Wishing They Were A 15 Year-Old Schoolgirl
- Millions Of Couples Given Green Light To Kill Each Other
- Microsoft Offers Students Cut-Price Infuriating Crap
