News

No-one in a hurry to get to Birmingham
11-01-12
SUPPORT for the high speed rail link between London and Birmingham was muted yesterday as nobody really wants to go there.
Independent Scotland could be exactly the same, warn experts
11-01-12
INDEPENDENCE could leave Scotland exactly the same in every way, experts warned last night.

French get chance to vote for magnificent bastard
10-01-12
FRANCE has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be ruled by a bastard of unparalleled magnificence.

Thatcher film 'not sexually violent enough'
10-01-12
SENIOR Conservatives have attacked the new Margaret Thatcher biopic for its 'disturbing' lack of sexual violence.
Turd reveals maniac’s hatred of scumbag
10-01-12
BRITAIN is to be dipped in antiseptic after hearing the oozing testimony of Kelvin Mackenzie.
Bonus curb could lead to 'arsehole drain'
09-01-12
PLANS to curb executive pay could lead to an exodus of money-grubbing dicks, experts have warned.

Tolkien denied Nobel Prize 'because he wrote about Hobbits'
09-01-12
JRR Tolkien was rejected by the Nobel Prize committee because he wrote about hobbits, dwarves and orcs, it has emerged.

Does sleeping count as not drinking? asks Britain
09-01-12
BRITAIN would like to know if being fast asleep counts as time off the drink.


