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HARD-UP QUEEN FORCED TO SELL PRINCESS ANNE

PRINCESS Anne was put up for sale last night as the Queen looked to plug a £32 million hole in her finances.

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STARS GATHER TO SHOW HOW WORTHLESS THEY ARE COMPARED TO NELSON MANDELA

SOME of the biggest names in showbiz have come together in London to prove how shabby and pointless they are compared to Nelson Mandela.

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TESCO TRUMPS ASDA WITH RANGE OF PORN CAKES

SUPERMARKET rivalry has intensified after Tesco promised to put all your dirty pictures on a cake.

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Opinion

GUEST BLOG: NOEL GALLAGHER

THE Olympics - what the fuck was that all about? Every morning, right, that Scottish bird off the telly would sit on a sofa telling us that we'd won a bronze medal in the women’s catapult and that everyone could now go to work with a big smile on their face - in retrospect I think she somehow mistook me for somebody who gives a fuck.

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