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CELEBRATE THE WEEKEND WITH FRESH BASIL AND PINE NUTS, SAYS OLIVER

MILLIONAIRE chef Jamie Oliver has attacked Britain's drinking culture and urged people to forget their troubles by sniffing some really fresh basil.
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I'LL FEED ANYTHING THAT MOVES, SAYS GARRAWAY

TV presenter Kate Garraway last night pledged to pump her milk into anything that can suck it.
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CHILDREN OUTNUMBERED BY DAILY MAIL READING FUCKNUTS

CHILDREN in the UK are now outnumbered by ageing psychopaths who devour every word of the Daily Mail, new figures reveal.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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