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BRITISH CHILDREN TOO UGLY, SAYS GLITTER

GLAM rock paedophile Gary Glitter has refused to return to the United Kingdom, insisting British children are far too fat and ugly.
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NO WOMEN INVOLVED IN LATEST PANTYLINER ADVERT

NO women were involved in the making of the latest advert for Always pantyliners, it was confirmed last night.
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I’VE TALKED MYSELF INTO TALKING US INTO A RECESSION, ADMITS ECONOMIST

A LEADING economist last night admitted he had talked himself into talking us all into a major global recession.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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