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INVISIBILITY CLOAK PROMISES NEW ERA IN FROTTAGE

THE invention of an invisibility cloak was last night welcomed by those perverts who rub up against you on the train until they go off.
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WATER MADE FROM GAS, SAY WATER COMPANIES

WATER companies last night defended their above inflation price rises insisting water was now made from very expensive gas.
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CBI FINDS EXTRA TWENTY MILLION POOR PEOPLE BEHIND FRIDGE

THE CBI last night warned that the UK economy was far worse off than it thought after it found an extra twenty million poor people behind the fridge. 
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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