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GO AND TIDY YOUR ROOM, SAY SCIENTISTS

STOP that right now and go and tidy your room this instant, leading scientists said last night. 
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EVERYTHING WE SELL IS A CAKE, CLAIMS M&S

MARKS and Spencer has launched a legal challenge against the Inland Revenue, claiming that every one of its 25,000 products is a cake.
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BBC SHUT DOWN AFTER PROGRAMME ABOUT BIG, FAT COCKS

THE BBC has been shut down temporarily after complaints about a documentary featuring dozens of big, fat cocks.
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Opinion

MY BIG GAP YEAR

Dispatches from Poppy Spalding

MONDAY: BANGKOK

LAST week, I had meant to go to Cambodia to further my investigations into Gary Glitter, but reconsidered after reading on My Space that DJ Rico was playing practically a stone’s throw from my hostel in Hanoi this weekend: Saturday night at the Lotus in Bangkok.  Coincidence? I think not.
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