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BUY-TO-LET INVESTORS AGE 1,000 YEARS IN FOUR SECONDS

THOUSANDS of buy-to-let investors are ageing 1,000 years in around four seconds after receiving the latest valuations of their rented properties.

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SMOKERS BANNED FROM LOOKING AT CIGARETTES WHILE SMOKING

SMOKERS will have to hold a large piece of card over their face so they cannot look at the cigarette they are smoking, ministers said last night.

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IF ONLY I REALLY WAS STUART LITTLE, SAYS MICHAEL J. FOX

HOLLYWOOD superstar Michael J. Fox last night complained that he would have been cured of his Parkinson’s disease by now if he really was a mouse.

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Opinion

ONE WOMAN'S WEEK: ONE GIANT LEAP FOR CHERYL

By Karen Fenessey

I THINK it's great America has taken a small step for man by electing a black president. But amidst all the hilarity, I must ask: when will enough be enough? How far do white folks have to go to convince the world we're sorry about slavery? And meanwhile, what about the compelling racial saga taking place right here on our own doorstep: Cheryl Cole's legendary heroics on the X Factor.

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